Santa Claus is Cumin to Town in a One Horse Open Slaw Burger (S3E9)

We just don’t even know where to start with this episode.  It was weird, weird, weird, even by Bob’s Burgers standards. Or, at least we thought the obsessive relationship of a man with a mannequin was a crazy concept*…until we recently watched The Umbrella Academy (spoilers?). We were also not quite ready to celebrate Christmas in April. Thankfully, the Christmas-themed burger puns actually gave us some seasonally (that is – Spring) appropriate options to work with. But what to do about the beverages…

The Final Fron-beer

Since we weren’t going with Christmas flavors, we were a little stumped as to what beverage to pair with our burger. Slaw evokes summer BBQs, and what goes better with burgers in the sunshine than nice cold beer? Well, that really narrowed it down – not. We spent longer contemplating every single beer option at the supermarket than we did choosing a burger recipe. But then inspiration struck: Lagunitas Super Cluster in honor of the first image of a black hole. Cheers to women in science everywhere!


April Showers Bring Slaw Burgers

So, our plan to eat our burgers in the bright Spring weather was quickly dashed by a sudden, and may we add not forecasted**, afternoon rain. After getting drenched on the walk home from the market, we decided to hunker inside, crack open some beers, and fire up the griddle.

Keeping with a common trend, we decided to combine elements from a couple of Bob’s Burgers of the Day: cumin and slaw. Le Google quickly turned us onto a truly delectable Cumin Lime Coleslaw. We halved the recipe for the sauce, whisking together 1/4 cup mayo, 1 Tbsp lime juice, 1/4 Tbsp honey, roughly 1/3 tsp ground cumin, 1/4 tsp kosher salt, and a “boop” of cayenne pepper. After letting the sauce meld in the fridge for about 1 hour, we threw in a thinly sliced green onion and just enough shredded slaw mix for our two burgers, making sure it would be liberally coated with the tangy and savory deliciousness. All of this was done a few hours before we were ready to make the burgers so the slaw could marinate in the fridge and do it’s magic. This slaw had us at first bite, immediately wondering what we could put it on next and how soon is too soon for an encore performance of these burgers (for the record, these burgers starred in a repeat matinee the very next day).

After toasting the Kaiser rolls (sesame seed for Lizetti, poppy seed for Zoseph) and putting them in the toaster oven to stay warm, we mixed 1/3 lb ground chuck beef with 1/3 lb ground pork and a few dashes of Worcestershire sauce. These patties were liberally coated with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, grilling until fully cooked due to the pork present. On the B Side of the burgers, we added two slices of Muenster cheese each, which perfectly melted around the patties in a loving embrace. Burgers ready to report to duty!

…but, wait – why are the buns in the toaster oven so dark? Who set the warming temperature to 350??? DEFCON 1: run to the supermarket and get two new buns, tout suite!

The pause was actually great; we probably do not normally let our burgers rest for an ideal amount of time before stuffing them in our faces, and as we have mentioned in the blog before, this can help the flavors set – not to mention prevent you from needing to do that weird, quick, wide-open mouth breathing as an emergency cooling method for your first few bites of fresh-off-the-griddle meat.

New buns were thrown onto the griddle to get nice and toasty in the exuded burger grease, then the creation was assembled: bottom bun, burger with cheese, slaw, top bun – easy!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

This burger was, what’s the word? Oh, yeah: AMAZING. All of the flavors were so satisfying, the salt-crusted pork-blended burger was everything a juicy flavorful burger should be, and we seriously entered a moment of burger nirvana. We had visions of eating this perfect warm-weather burger all. summer. long. Seriously, highly recommend. This burger needs to be in your rotation this cookout season!***


*And before you get up in arms and say, “what about the movie ‘Mannequin’?” Well, in that movie the mannequin actually comes to life and has a consensual relationship with a dude. In this episode, the mannequin is always inanimate, and we very much doubt it gave consent for anything that occurred.

**Meteorologists are the reason I have trust issues.

***And, if you are looking for similar burgers to throw into the mix, try out our take on the Two Karat Burger – another one of our favs!

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